Age 18: 1980 – 81

I am sent an application form for campus accommodation. Apparently, there are four halls of residence on campus that will accommodate first-year students. One of these is segregated; the males are in one wing and the females are in the other. Most of the rooms in all the halls are for single occupancy, but apparently a few are shared. The idea of sharing a room is not at all appealing to me. On the application form, under ‘Any Other Information’, I write: ‘A single room please, for religious privacy.’ Seeing my name, they will know that I am a Muslim and they know that Muslims pray a lot, so they will definitely give me a single room.

I do pray to God not to put me in the segregated hall; it will be harder to meet girls there.

Age 19: 1981 – 82

In September, my parents drive me up to Scotland. We set off in the Mercedes at 6 a.m. on a Saturday morning; my bicycle is on a rack on the roof. Stirling is over 400 miles away, in the vicinity of Bannockburn, near the places where William Wallace and Robert the Bruce fought the English.

All the way up, I am praying and hoping not to be in the segregated hall. We arrive on campus and I head for the Accommodation Office. The good news is that I have been given a single room, for my ‘religious privacy’. And, since I’m clearly a very religious person, they have put me in AK Davidson Hall, the segregated one. Why, God, why?

I am walking through campus with my parents and there are posters everywhere for the ‘Freshers’ Disco’. My father says to me earnestly, ‘Disco meh nay jannah!’ (‘Don’t go to the disco!’). I think happily that my father will be safely hundreds of miles away and he does not need to worry about it.

Clutching my papers from the Accommodation Office, I enter the foyer of AK Davidson Hall, whilst my parents wait outside in the car. At the front desk, there is a girl chatting with the hall porter. She is obviously not a first-year, as she is very familiar with the porter and they are completely at ease with one other.

She is absolutely beautiful; she has curly dark-brown hair, is of medium height and has a fabulous figure. Her manner is energetic and she is utterly vivacious. I’ve only been on campus for thirty minutes and I’ve already met the girl of my dreams. I have arrived in Paradise.